Xmas new terms and conditions

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Xmas new terms and conditions

Postby Viewmaster » Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:12 pm

As the legal adviser for this company I have been asked to rewrite the company's terms and conditions for this year.

Santa Claus Delivery Ltd.
Terms and Conditions.

For purposes of understanding these terms and conditions, Santa Claus Delivery Ltd will henceforth be referred to as SCD.
SCD will take no responsibilty for any damage or collapse of chimney pots nor the brick or other material used in the construction of such chimney pots or chimney stacks.

No delivery can be undertaken if the temperature of the innner lining of any chimney is above 30 degrees centigrade.

SCD will not be held responsible if any of its Reindeer or sledges used cause any damage whatsoever to the roof of dwellings where delivery is being made.

Droppings and any urination of the companies animals or staff will be the responsibility of the house owner to clear.

The company will use any garden, lawn or any other suitable landing area if a roof is deemed to be unsound. Again, SCD will not be held liable for any droppings or urination of its animals or staff to any part of the deliverancees property, nor die back of any grass areas therein urinated upon.

Whilst SCD will take care in delivery of items, the company cannot be liable for any soot encroachment into any house, bungaloo, shack, cabin or any other structure whilst a delivery is being undertaken.
It is the responsibility of the owner to ensure that insurance is taken out to cover any cost of cleaning out soot or other material. SCD can offer such insurance from its parent company
Santa Clause Insurance and Liability Cover Ltd.

SCD will not complete any delivery if a suitable stocking is not hanging within 1.25 metres from the fireplace from which SCD's workforce maybe using.
Any delays caused by such omissions will result in litigation on the part of SDC for full recovery of wasted air miles.

SCD requires that a suitable door is kept unlocked for SDC's staff admittance, if any property does not contain a suitable chimney or if a gas or oil fired boiler is installed therein.
In this instance any burglar alarm must be deactivated to allow SDC's staff to enter the premises. SCD however, will not be held responsible if any crime takes place during this deactivation period. SCD's staff will also be immune from any proceedings for theft during this deactivation period.

Delays due to navigational difficulties caused by cloud. rain or any other precipitation are not the responsibility of SCD, and the company will not accept any claims for delays in delivery caused by such phenomenon which are outside its control.

SCD precures much of its merchandise from eBay and whilst SCD makes every effort to deliver on time, it cannot be held responsible for any crying, argueing, fighting nor any other kind of domestic problem which might be deemed to be associated with such late deliveries from the companies vendors.

Whilst SCD aims to ensure a speedy and efficient yearly service throughout the land, due to the quantity of goods delivered at this time, it cannot to be held responsible for any errors on delivered items.
Namely, if a doll is delivered to a house of a boy, then SDC will exchange it, but cannot be held liable for any domestic problems or damage that may ensue in the said premises resulting from this error. It is the parents responsibility in all these matters.

Please use this festive time to fill in any exchange forms. These can be downloaded from
http://www.Santaclausedelivery.co.uk/fo ... /item/time
and must be in the hands of SCD by the last week of this year. Failure to do so, will result in a non exchange flag being raised for that house. In this event SCD cannot guarantee that any future deliveries will be undertaken.

Gratuities, other than coins, are accepted by SCD staff, but SCD will not admit any liability for GBH claims if any gratuity is deemed to be insufficient by its staff.
..............................................................................................................................................
SCD would like to take this opportunity to wish all its clients a Merry Christmas. But we draw your attention to the fact that we, SCD, cannot be held liable in any manner whatsoever, if in fact, any person does not have a merry one.
“One small step for a man,"......because he has Arthritis.
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